Shutting Down Fear

Desires are a funny thing. They can be so enticing and inspiring, yet do very little beyond this without effort on our part. There is nothing that quite compares to having a desire in your heart delayed. It’s like waiting for a glass of water on a hot humid day and it taking longer than usual to obtain it. The feelings most associated with the waiting is impatience, pain and even mental fatigue. I’m sure you can relate if you have ever tried to pursue a dream, goal or ambition in life only to find that it wouldn't happen in your timeframe, comfort zone or the way you had imagined it.

One of my desires has always been to travel the world doing something that both creatively inspires and helps others. It has been quite a journey to get to the point where I can actually step back and say with some pride that I am able to do that in small ways now, but the early stages of getting to where I am today were as the feelings I described above, but doubled maybe even tripled. Nevertheless I learned some strong lessons about not only relationship with other but also with myself.

There is nothing like being burned. Especially by people you trust and care about. There is a bitter taste in your mouth that urges you to become resentful after working so hard towards something you cared strongly about. The taste seems to intensify every time you think about the reality that all that hard work just vanished into thin air and the person(s) you toiled alongside turned out not to be as integral as you had once thought? This happened for me. Not once, but thrice in a period of 5 years. Each time felt like a blow that I would not come back from. Each time pushing me to become closed off and mistrusting. I remember in my prayer time crying out to God, “Whats the point. Every door I walk through eventually gets slammed in my face. Every person I trust in the end burns me.” I remember feeling overwhelmed and torn. My internal dialogued filled with self-doubt. “Do I keep going?” “Am I really cut out for this?” “Maybe I’m just too stupid to read the signs and need to cash it in and quit.” This was the season I fondly refer to as the burn notice.

With time my grumbling would subside. My heart would mend and I would silence my fears with truth. I knew deep down I had what it took and not to give up. We are all wired to keep trying and push past the upsets and setbacks. If you don’t believe me check out the resiliency factor in babies. They don’t give up on walking just because they tripped over air or because their knees buckled and their feet flew out from under them. They keep on until they find their way all the while building strength in the process. This drive within us is what separates the gritty from the flakey. I remember telling myself each time I would get scared to work with someone new that people are valuable and wonderful. Don’t let a few bad turns ruin the opportunity to work with real gems. The upsets and setbacks were a hard pill to swallow but I began to armor up by learning from my mistakes, seeking wise counsel and finding quality accountability partners that would not let me sit on my butt and wallow in self-doubt.

What I’ve learned is that we all have desires that need fueling, and that we all make mistakes we can learn from. One of the greatest challenges between you and your desires is the fight for what you believe in. It may take a few upsets and setbacks, but the outcome is determined by what you let your heart believe and how much effort you will put into making those desires YOUR reality. Remember to always check yo-self (before you wreck yo-self). What thought(s) is holding you back from achieving your dream, goal, or ambition? What can you do today to start rewiring that belief to align with your aspirations? Today is a fresh start to laying down a new foundation of hope and perseverance. Today you can step away from the fear of failure, and instead get up and believe that you have what it takes to make a brilliant future for not only yourself but for those around you. You are creatively brilliant. You are deeply loved. You are worth it. I believe in you. It's time you do too.

Your Sister Warrior & Fellow Entrepreneur,